


The Voicemail

by acenintendods



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sanji Is Not A Vinsmoke, Voicemails, sanji’s tired and usopp’s freaking out, they live in a big city in a small apartment, “your car warranty is up!!” says the voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29912232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acenintendods/pseuds/acenintendods
Summary: He hits a play button for a voicemail, and Sanji wants to burst into tears all of a sudden.“To prevent your extended warranty from expiring, I'm giving you a courtesy follow-up call before I close the file.” The voicemail speaks. “Don’t yourself exposed to costly repairs. Please press one to speak to a specialist now, or press two to decline these coverage opportunities and be placed on our Do Not Call list.”—Sanji’s tired and Usopp gets a voicemail.
Relationships: Usopp/Sanji
Kudos: 29





	The Voicemail

**Author's Note:**

> all grammatical issues are solely mine! constructive criticism is welcome. also on my tumblr page, which is @acenintendods

Oh, to be a chef living with his boyfriend in a small apartment in a big city.

Sanji snuggles further into the warm blanket draped over him as he lays on the couch, watching some random rom-com on the television. (No, Sanji obviously wasn’t enjoying it, not even a little!)

What a relaxing way to end your night, Sanji thinks. He had recently gotten off of his shift and wanted nothing more than to chill.

He shifts positions and lays facing up with an arm over his forehead, the other arm on his stomach, head slightly tilted towards the television.

He is about to drift off until he hears a door slam open from down the hallway. Sanji doesn’t blink, he only sits up and stares.

“SANJI.” Usopp deadpans loudly, phone in hand. “SANJI, SANJI SANJI SANJI—“

“Yes, dear.” Sanji replies, potentially coming off as uninterested. He was just...sleepy. He flops back down into the previous laying position.

Usopp dashes towards his boyfriend. “I am sorry to bother you while you’re...” He takes a second to drink in the scene before him. “you look comfortable.”

“Just tired. What’s going on? Did a zombie apocalypse start?” Sanji jokes, knowing full well that’s something Usopp would make up.

Usopp lights up Sanji’s face with his phone screen, and Sanji squints.

He hits a play button for a voicemail, and Sanji wants to burst into tears all of a sudden.

“To prevent your extended warranty from expiring, I'm giving you a courtesy follow-up call before I close the file.” The voicemail speaks. “Don’t yourself exposed to costly repairs. Please press one to speak to a specialist now, or press two to decline these coverage opportunities and be placed on our Do Not Call list.”

Sanji takes Usopp’s phone, his eyes narrowing further by just a bit. “Usopp.”

“WHAT? Can’t you see this is a crisis? My car warranty! I think I’m coming down with I-Have-A-Fear-Of-Voicemails Disease.”

“This is a scam, first of all. Second, be quiet for a moment.”

Usopp quiets, and Sanji prepares to send a voicemail back.

The cook leans close towards the speaker of the phone, speaking aggressively. “Leave my boyfriend alone.” He ends the voicemail, handing Usopp his phone back.

Usopp blinks. “So. That was a scam?”

“Yeah. I get like five thousand of those weekly.”

A silence befalls the two before Sanji gets up reluctantly, bringing his blanket along with him over his shoulder. “Anyways, now that that ordeal is over. I’m tired. Come to bed.”

Sanji tugs on Usopp’s hand, and Usopp doesn’t protest.


End file.
